FB Question: Keeping Your Guard Up

Question from FB:

Why do women keep their guard up for so long and pull away when men start to catch feelings?

Harmuny's World Answer: 

Every case is different. People don't want to take the risk of being hurt. You hear life is pain, but there is a balance to everything. She may have baggage that she doesn't trust you with, so before the guy gets too comfortable she pulls away. We all tend to overlook venerability when it comes down to relationships. Think about it, if the ultimate goal of talking to someone isn't marriage then what are you all doing, wasting time?

A. Keeping the Guard up

When you let someone in your life, a lot happens. Have you heard what you do affects everyone else around you? Rather positive or negative, things change. It is vital that some type of guard is kept up because we don't want a lot of broken people walking around. I don't want to get too deep in section A, but humans are fickle, we all look to fill a void that we think is in someone else. Agree? Breaking that down: we crave to be craved. 

B. Baggage

Over time in each of our lives we have certain things that cling to us or we cling to. A home, parents, vehicle(s) siblings, other family members, a boat, debt, previous relationship(s) that didn't work, memories, childhood, there could be numerous of things people are captured by. We are either running from something or to something at one time or another. Possibly children from a previous something and now you have to find someone who you trust to protect and appreciate them as well as you. When we decide to talk to someone we sign up to help unpack things seen and unseen. We all have baggage. That is why being mature when getting involved with anyone is important. We all are at different stages in life and those who find an equal are blessed.

C. Catching Feelings

I chose to sum up this "catching feelings" as having an attraction, I won't name a specific attraction because as you read this you will apply your own and yes there are a few. The key word here is "feelings". We are emotional and to not get all scientific we end up on an emotional roller coaster when it comes down to relationships. Attraction is a gift; it can be related to confidence which is something that must be worn well. So this catching feeling, I hear is getting to know someone surface based. At the beginning people naturally do the crazy check, Making sure the person is sane first and then what issues they are currently facing, then the attraction may go a little deeper once you get past the associate stage. Liking someone and claiming someone is totally different. THE GAME! It can be annoying the whole thing of be the player or get played. But that is a youthful (as in immature) topic and one I won't cover in this blog.

D. Getting Comfortable

Allowing someone in is like the fight of life, for some. Once on a steady something, whatever people call it these days getting comfortable can be a task or smooth sailing. You meet family, you meet friends, you share secrets, you share struggles, and you still may only be scratching the surface. You look into spirituality or how you plan to build family morals and values play a huge part in getting comfortable. You take advice from each other and you look to each other to have answers the other may or may not have. This is an area to grow together where you also discover who and what you are becoming rather positive or negative. The saying show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are. You are friends in the getting comfortable stage.

E. Trust

I chose to add trust in this topic because it is a make or break in the initial topic of why women run when there is an opportunity to settle. Side note: Men have commitment issues too. Maybe the individual woke up and realized before they got too deep where things were heading and they ran for the nearest exit. If you don't trust someone let it go (my opinion if you all are not married) (Married folk must seek God about their relationship as well as single, but your bond {married folk} is not in a position to walk away you have a lot more at stake). Touchy topic but trust these days is what each individual makes it. The bible says put your trust in God. From my personal experience, I pray, if someone I talk to act up, no worries, tough cookie!!! If I act up, I would hope the same. We all are a work in progress.

I will conclude there! There is a lot more I can cover on this topic

but I will hold off for now, let me know if I answered the question and kept it unbiased. Feel free to comment and share constructive criticism.

I could add a few Bible verses just to help put things into perspective or you can comment and share scripture.

California!!! 101

Keep God First!

Emotional Roller Coaster Cinco de Mayo

Right now if you feel very down and unaccomplished…understand that is the enemy harassing you from a distance.

The Bible states: I am more than a Conquer!

Your mind is all over the place and your attitude is tiresome and your heart is heavy… The chance you get to focus on someone or something other than yourself, take it!

If life was a bit smoother, because "easy" is definitely out of the question… Train yourself to maneuver through these rough and down times especially when everyone you usually speak with about your problems are of course, unavailable…

Psalms 39:5&6
 
You, indeed, have made my days short in length, and my life span as nothing in Your sight. Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor. Selah ⁶ “Certainly, man walks about like a mere shadow. Indeed, they frantically rush around in vain, gathering possessions without knowing who will get them.

Try to get a grip on life, as it attempt to slip away… Change your perspective and start to really love your life and appreciate your twenties or what ever age you are.  If you really sit back and think about life you probably would see patterns that are continuous.

You pray for stability and you become unstable.

You pray for rest and you become very busy.

You pray for peace and things that try to get up under your skin come along.

You pray for prosperity and you find yourself broke!

John 16:33

I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

There must be a collective idea about turning these prayers around or maybe they are taking more time to manifest.

Peace can be needed more urgently than rest at times. Isn’t life funny?

If I go to the bible and read up on David and all his issues  before he became king. Like his many complaints and praises and worship medleys as a Psalmist we are not that different at all. (Go read 1st and 2nd Samuel great books to cast David and the book of Psalm of course.) 

I am reminded that worship must step in…

I am reminded that David was sent about 400 men that were worse off than he was…

I am reminded that David turned to God when the enemy set him up…

When you definitely feel set up find a place to worship. Sometimes we really have to let go and let God.

Find a place of release, where are the passions of your heart? What are you good at?

I have often turned my frustrations into writing because I understand what comes out of me is from the heart (which is whatever you put in). You know the saying, “what goes in must come out!”

Our heart could be crying out "help, help, help…" But our spirit on the inside  is like, "What is your problem? Greater is He that is within than he that is in the world! Trust in the Lord with All your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all thy way acknowledge him and he will direct your path!"

Be bold and stand firmly on the Lords’ word because the Joy of the Lord is Our Strength! :)

Q/A: Time, Stress, Balance, and Encouragement!

My First set of Questions from Facebook!

1. How do you manage dealing with stress and making time for yourself? 

2. Time management best tips? 

3. What are the best ways to stay spiritually balanced?

4. How do you keep pushing through hard times?

5. Best place to go for encouragement?

I worship God! :) I work out and I redirect negative energy into positive energy. Allow the negative energy to disintegrate while you participate in extra-curricular activities. Working out or dancing which are my hobbies is how I release! Make sure you find that thing you are passionate about rather art or reading or sports.  

You don't have to hold on to anything. There are words like "apology" and "forgiveness" that work wonders! 

Use calendars and sit & relax and think about what I need to do. You must separate what you want from what you need. Save yourself from Bankruptcy! The idea of Bankruptcy in many areas of your life! You must take time out for yourself. The bible says operate with a clear thinking mind. 

2 Timothy 4:5 But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at bringing others to Christ. Complete the ministry God has given you.

The best way to stay spiritually balanced is to LITERALLY seek God FIRST! When you wake up in the morning the first thing you should do is either pray or look for the word of God. Join a Bible plan like with YouVersion has or other Bible organizations. It is to hold you accountable! If you miss days you must catch yourself up and in the process you will gain life lessons! Plus you get to read about great historical figures that many history books miss out on.

Make time for God!!! People say: People make time for what they want. Valentine's Day is this week and I have seen numerous statuses or insta posts about that! Truth is Truth! 

What is important to you? Where are you spending your time? Who is receiving majority of your QT (quality time)?

Seeking God early, starts your day! You will feel refreshed leaving out of your front door. Spending time with God is the most important activity you can do. Turn the Christian/Gospel tunes up! Wake up praising God. You will become more aware and more prepared for your trials. God comes first point blank!

You keep pushing through hard times by giving all your worries to God. I want to explain how this is done but my explanation is long winded. So i'll say: Literally asking God to take control and becoming worry free and becoming unconcerned with the outcome. You must ask God for the Peace that surpasses all understanding!

Philippians 4:6 & 7

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Matthew 7:24-27 Build on the Rock

²⁴ “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: ²⁵ and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

²⁶ “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: ²⁷ and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

What I love about this last scripture is regardless of who you are and who you serve and what you do or don't do there will be rain, floods, and wind. So clearly w/o God you will fall and with God "THE ROCK", THE CORNERSTONE" you Survive!

Last, But not least where to go for encouragement? The Bible and an individual who is where you are trying to go! A positive mentor.

Google is becoming so advanced that you can look up a bible scripture by simply typing Bible then typing exactly how you feel or what you need encouragement in. Ex: Bible verses about Faith

We have access to everything, because we are connected to the one who created it all! 

Know your worth always and thank you for sending me these awesome questions. If you need me to expound on anything please let me know! Thank you so very much love you dearly! :)

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE & Keep God 1st! :)

Personality, pleasing God Only!

Character is everything!
Galatians 1:10 (KJV)

For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

Be you, because everyone else it taken!!!

I can remember when I first arrived to New York City. I already looked and dressed differently. My "swag" or what have you, was not the norm in the neighborhood.

But what I can say I noticed! FAVOR! FAVOR! FAVOR!

It was like a feeling of knowing that God has set me up. I am not sure you know that feeling but to expound. It was like being treated like royalty. Everywhere I went people were offering me things on their expense. :) You are royalty by the way, but to actually be treated as such is another thing. 

It was also like being the new person on a college campus. People are going to love you or hate you. When the different store owners saw me walking by or stopping in just to say hello, it looked like their day was made happier.

Mind you New York is not this vicious place that people make it out to be, there are really great neighborhoods and people that are so helpful. Just be careful/mindful of their motives!

I am not sharing this to show off. I am sharing this because of a sweet spirit God has given me within. The Holy spirit. Allowing your light to shine with just a smile. Using your time as valuable as it can be to stop and say hello means a lot to people.

Think of it like visiting a prisoner in jail, or surprising your child with a cupcake at school or receiving a random check in the mail or even just a gentle text to help you through your day.

You don't know how you affect people, that is why going with the flow, being attentive and remaining close to God is the best way of survival.

I keep hearing that being in your twenties is all about finding where you belong in the "Circle of Life", I saw The Lion King on Broadway recently, your identity can be found in Christ Jesus.

Back to your Character! I was taught to obtain the knowledge of the fruits of the spirit, study and aim to be like Christ the Savior.

Galatians 5:22,23 (KJV)

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

I tell you aiming to live with the fruits of the spirit has helped me understand family, friends, acquaintances, and myself.

Its like these 9 words withhold so much power I can actually say life is a bit more maneuverable. Even the bible says there are no laws against these. AWESOME!!!

The message bible says it well:

Galatians 5:22-24
^22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

^23-24 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

No one is perfect! We are all a work in progress and we all fall short of the glory of God. BUT!
James 1:1-4 (KJV)
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Starting today to make up in your mind to behave better than before and react wisely and work in decency and in order, your life will change. Taking the time out to breathe and seek God can fill up the very thing in you that has been missing.

1 Corinthians 14:40 (KJV)

Let all things be done decently and in order.

^{The message Bible:}

^39-40 Three things, then, to sum this up: When you speak forth God’s truth, speak your heart out. Don’t tell people how they should or shouldn’t pray when they’re praying in tongues that you don’t understand. Be courteous and considerate in everything.

Everyone has a testimony. I share bits and pieces but if you know me and ask me I will definitely share with you. God has been so good to me I can not tell it all. So I just live my life as an individual understanding where my help comes from.

Psalms 121:1 (KJV)
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

Always keep God first and He will cradled you in His loving arms. He holds tomorrow!

Lessons: Ouch!

So there are a plethora of topics that I want to discuss in this post but I am going to get through this one in particular.

Headache as I type. -____-

So I got into an altercation on this beautiful evening where it lead to me walking away twice.

Way out of Character for me because I am not one for drama. I like peace and joy and happiness. Rare but lately often dramatic people have been coming around me. Definitely taking me out of my comfort zone. You know the person that can not stay calm under pressure, the one that has a fight with someone then carry the anger around with them and lash out at everyone else, the one who is insecure, the one who don't know how to politely talk in a professional manner? Well that is not me but that definitely was an individual who blatantly disrespected me and called me out of my name, (It was racial, I won't share what he said!)

There is more to a story but the moral.

Lately God has been teaching me to operate in Love so I was thinking 'you know what, the persons words were so minute that they rolled off'. I was able to walk away from a situation that was heated. I don't have a temper or anything. I am a problem solver not maker.

All in all. I was thinking I passed the test on love but later it was brought to my attention that I failed the test of Pride.

Let that sit a bit. A lot of things could have happened. I didn't have to go back to the dude the second time. I did not have to say anything about the Facebook message.

I didn't know things would escalate the way they did but everything happens for a reason. Pride is tough to deal with.

This is a lesson many of us fail. :) Sadly! But

Keep living right it pays off now and it will continue in the end! Keep God 1st! Love You!I am determined to get it right. People take kindness for weakness which is detrimental on their part.  

Which is why some people handle certain people a certain way. God does not like UGLY, I have been told over my years.

We must choose our battles. The bible does say vengeance is the Lord. So we need to aim to live like it and stay out of trouble.

Words can and do hurt. But you don't have to accept everything you are called!

"It is not what you are called, it is what you answer to!" -someone intelligent.

SN: The trouble Jesus was in was not his own. He died for you and me and freed us at the cross.

The Dead Lives & The "I AM" Speaks :)

So a lot has happened between August to November. I was not focused on writing because I was working and sleeping. A bit lazy, huh?

Well, during September the weather began to change and I was still figuring out the latter of the year which I stopped that and just focused on God. After being told that I was accepted into multiple projects which all got cancelled... smh My life took a turn then God became the center focus once again!

I heard a word!!!

I heard a word I would say around the beginning of October teaching about DEATH is a SEED! :)

Woah!!! Wait!!! TO die is to go through a cocoon stage???

Did you know a Caterpillar digests itself... Google it!!!

But back to the topic. The story I heard was about Lazarus... JOHN 11:11-44 PLEASE READ!!!

If you do not know who this man was then you are not living.

I am unsure if he was the first person to die and be brought back to life but HE DIED Completely. And came back to life because of Jesus our Savior.

I will post the notes in my notes section of this blog but you must hear me out!

The breath/air of life LEFT him. Talking about a second chance!!!

He and Jesus were friends!

Jesus was told that Lazarus had died and Jesus said a lot of things in this particular story in the bible but the very first thing he said is what matters the most!

The preacher mention a principle about "Firsts Words".

Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

Lazarus life gave God Glory. He was a living vessel for the body of Christ and God was able to use his life. Lazarus had an awesome reputation. He was well liked in the community. When you read that other people came to the house to mourn with Mary and Martha it shows that Lazarus had respect from friends and residents in their area. Great Guy!

Also, I found out that Mary was the same woman who cried tears on Jesus feet and wipe them with her hair. Seriously!!! Listen to Ce Ce Winans song called: ALABASTER BOX
Then read LUKE 7:36-50

Who are you? Who am I?

In a different sermon!!!

I heard something so profound!
At the burning bush with Moses, God said, "I AM, That I AM."
Why? because God knows who he is, we are the ARE NOT'S!!! We don't know who we are. God is the only "I AM"! WOW!!!
Read Exodus 3:13 when Moses is learning who God is and what his task was going to be, which we know of, getting the Israelite's free up out of Egypt! Read all of Exodus 3.

I have heard a lot of powerful preaching this Fall!!! There is more to come! I will continue to write and share.

I pray you have a church home and that God uses you mightily and that you will become a part of God's body that will be effective here on earth!

Jesus is LORD! God Is Good all the time! Become a worshiper!!!  Praise Saves!!! Find your quiet place and focus on the Kingdom of God read your Bible and get to know our Savior more and more. You must be a part of this movement. It is not too late! Love you and God Bless!!!