To Ignore or To Be Ignored!

"People, who ignore you, until it suits them to talk to you, are not worthy of your friendship or your time."

So I saw a meme on Facebook and both my friend and I decided this would be a great blog topic. 

Have you ever become so annoyed with being ignored that you feel helpless at getting the conclusion/solution you need?

I will tackle relationships then family, friends/peers, then God.

But first starting with worthiness or worthlessness between you and the individual you are reaching out to. Notice I said individual, this part has nothing to do with God (separate entity, separate paragraph). As for everyone else the disrespect must stop. Do we need to go back to the Golden rule? Treat others how you want to be treated. I have already checked myself. We all have times when someone is reaching out to us and we refuse to respond.

There are a few sides to this story, ignoring definitely shows a level of dislike and carelessness. Sometimes it’s on purpose and other times it is not.

Relationships!

This game we play, at the beginning I will say when you experience someone real and ready. The game you crave me and I crave you and we‘re going to make it work. Crave means love in my blog, thanks! But when you are playing the game… You call, I’ll call; you text, ill text; like my picture, like your picture and so on the tit for tat baby step level. The big one, you’re busy, I’m busy too. Just know this game ends poorly, no one wins. An Infatuation or possible puppy love or you know you’re too grown for that, stage.  

The reality of being ignored!

The individual has zero time for games, they only want to work on a business level (and you want more, they don’t or at the least, not at this point in their life), they felt betrayed or manipulated; they caught you in a lie. You name it there are a numerous of reasons you do not get responses or the ones you were looking for. Feel free to comment on a time any of this happened to you. The big one their priority does not include you and yes they were busy.

What you allow to happen to you happens rather sadly or gratefully.  

Still in relationships, there are some really brave people that run things and can walk in a room and turn it upside down. Then there are people that cannot maneuver as great and don’t really have the interest to do so. Then there are persons who know when to be a leader and know when to take the back seat and then there are people who haven’t got a clue.

It is ultimately up to you how you deal with a person when entering a relationship, the best and worst get played, heart broken, loved fully and truthfully, learn lessons, repeat mistakes. But ultimately communication is what’s important. So when you ignore someone it that copping out? You know taking the easy way out? Or if you get ignored how badly does it hurt? Persons want attention.

Don’t base anything on technology, “my phone was tripping” or “I did reply”. Unless you know the person…technology will mess everything up.

Up NEXT Family!

When you are ignored by your family, circumstance plays a huge part, you all may not get along or people do not have time for the dramatics. They no longer want to gossip and if that is all you have to offer you need to find a new job (remember this is if you get ignored by family). Somebody did something, they don’t trust you like they used to or they cannot afford to assist you in your life at that current time so you will be on the ignore list. The great part about family, you see each other at a reunion and it’s like old times or the older generation won’t have it with the younger generation and you have to fix any and all disconnect within the family. I love when persons say at the end of the day family is what you got, it doesn't necessarily have to deal with blood.

Friends and peers!

A little lighter and simpler, if you are just peers no ownership, no involvement, feel free to ignore (on a need to basis only), no one owes anyone anything. But if you are friends or even best friends, put on gloves and/or take off earrings (lol that is a joke for all the loyal friendships)! But seriously you should not ignore your friends. Simple! Your friendship if done healthy is based on a kindness that’s mutual and your mission if you should choose it is to be there. Whatever that may mean, not saying there won’t be fall outs of extended periods of time you may not speak to each other, but friendships are work and if they are worth it, you won’t ignore a buddy.   

So with that, if someone is ignoring you, let it go.

Here we go! Last but surely not least God!

Because I won’t do what God would say about you and His relationship justice, I pray that God shows you who He is in your life. I pray He comforts you during a time when you feel alone or lonely because in actuality you won’t ever be alone. I appreciate the saying, “the teacher is quiet while students are taking a test”, but I also understand that God is always speaking. So work with that for now.

People are people, we have our lives to protect, no worries right? We ignore each other, annoy and use, disturb and are rude to one another. Are we born with these or taught? Cheers!  

Feel free to comment below.

Be Knowledgeable and Aware!

We all can be very childish but the goal is to grow. Moving towards maturity and keeping in mind that there is a place and time for everything.

Boys/Girls to Women/Men and our tricks! Don't be sorry, be careful! Who said that?

The persons we choose to connect with are a reflection of ourselves. You want to know you? Look at who you talk to.

If you lay with someone you will gain more than a few "spending time together" characteristics. Mannerism and issues that the other person has not dealt with becomes your problems, internally and on a spiritual level. You become soul-like connected.

So if you are this confident Miss/Mr. Independent and you sleep with someone insecure with low self esteem or has an anger issue, what do you think will become a part of you?

This is for the grown and mature.

You find  yourself waking up and nit picking at little things and even nagging and you have never done that before. Watch it!
You become angry out of nowhere or disliking something about yourself that you always loved. Be careful!

You slowly find yourself acting out of character or attracting some interesting people towards you. What is done in the dark always comes to light. History shows us that time and time again.

If you attract a loser then what are you? A loser attractor? Umm...No. (People aim too high at times and they either fumble or rise to the occasion if given a chance, that is a big 'if'.) You saw the movie "Love Don't Cost A Thing"!

If you accept/allow someone to get close to you and they are not where they need or want to be then you are looking at a possible dead end or a longer than expected season of tough times. People that are unstable and/or unsure in life get upset with everyone around them.

Seriously. Think about it! For an example... When your parents are unsure who broke the lamp in the den, everyone in the house is in trouble, even those who weren't present at the time of the incident. No one wants to tell the truth and snitch/confess what happened and/or come up with a way to fix the problem. So everyone remain silent and suffer the consequence with the other siblings.

You understand, right? You feel me? You read between the lines?

Obviously if you are the only child then maybe you and your cousins were in trouble together. A little secret, it's usually the middle child or the youngest who did it. I'm just saying.
A Pastor said it best, "there are too many 40+ year olds acting like they are 13" when it comes to foundational love and building life.

Woman and Men know when someone is on our level. We know when they are below it and above it.

This skill comes with maturity and analyzing the other person. Someone has to either rise to the level of expectation, or walk away because you two are not compatible.

Catching yourself before you fall for simple people/basic persons (basic is the new negative or what not to be, currently) is tough for many.

As I mentioned in a previous blog "Not Mapping Out Life", we crave to be craved, so connecting is human nature. Dodging Bullets is what it comes down to. Not actual bullets but negative persons that are shallow and have nothing to offer at that particular time in their life.

Give up on people? No. Understand where they are in their life and refuse to participate in foolishness? Yes!

 Additions to keep in mind:
-If someone show you who they are believe them. Medea said it... Tyler Perry!
-You know when someone's motives do not support you in a healthy manner.
Tricks... I want people to comment on the crazy things people have said over the years...Relationships are something else.

The goal is to not be fooled! Cheers! What did you get out of this one?

FB Question/Inquiry: Not Mapping Out Life

FB Question/Inquiry: Not having things mapped out in Life…and that’s OK.

Harmuny’s World Answer:

 Mapping out our life is a great way to stay connected to and focused on the ultimate goals we would like to accomplish in Life. Vision Boards, photos, writings, and other things that visually show us what we want out of life is healthy for guidance. Be it that Life is bigger than we can imagine, we are challenged to live selflessly in pretty much all that we do.

Leaving a legacy for generations of your family as well as others in the world, a few big names may come to mind. The everyday survival on earth is a challenge for all with obstacles that come and go. To individualize this topic, I understand, mentioned by Sex and the City cast not sure which one said it but they mentioned the twenties are an area of exploration. Obviously that stuck with me because that was said a few years back. But at any age you can be lost. Food for thought: “What you believe happens.”

Moving forward... Having supportive family and friends during a time of ‘where do I belong’ is important. I heard the saying: “Write a plan and give it to God so He can erase it.” That can be seen more than one way. 1. Your plan could be vague so God fill in those transitions. 2. You don’t believe the things you wrote so you have zero intention of accomplishing what you claim to set out to do. 3. You write a thorough plan and God sees where you want to go and it lines up NOWHERE to where He needs you to be (your plan may have been selfish). I can keep this going…

I love to share with others, “We are here to tell someone else’s story/message”. Have you seen the movie Sucker Punch? If not, I would encourage you to watch, I think it is an 18 and older film,  so look into it before sitting with youth to watch it. Then you will understand this paragraph.

What is a journey?

An act of traveling from one place to another

What is a destination?

The place to which someone or something is going or being sent

What is the right path to get to your destination?

You may or may not know this answer right away, guidance always come on time.

What is a map?

No kidding I chose Google to define this and it has: a person’s face.

But to be politically correct: A diagrammatic representation of an area of land or sea showing physical features, cities, roads, etc.

This is some great stuff here, but to tie a nice bow around this gathered information. Every last one of us are completely and uniquely created to do unique activities and have unique accomplishments and face unique trials/failures. How something affects or effects one person it will be similar to some but not exactly the same.

Tragedy, Love, Work Ethic, Eating, Entertainments are all reacted to differently, similar but not the same, think finger prints even go to DNA. Each of our make-up is different!

So I assure you our paths will echo that, how we see life will assimilate that and our trials will shape that.

Not knowing what you need to do or where you are going is totally fine. Don’t celebrate just yet, sitting doing nothing that is exactly where you are going, nowhere.

It is not okay to watch other’s lives and think you are going somewhere if you or someone before you has not made sacrifices to get you or them there.

People that are somewhere worked, if not them, then someone.

This is not a case of being grateful or ungrateful, it is about starting somewhere and ending up somewhere better than you were before you started and helping others along the way.

I could stop here but there is more…

Life has a way of bringing you back where you started. What I like to do is look at what I have done/been through, accomplished, failed at, and what I care about. I start there; my story will not be like yours. We all have a story also known as our journey. Some stories are longer than others.

You use what you have to get what you want has been used in many ways. I want to use it as you are wonderfully and uniquely made, start today on your homework to discover your cares and where you belong and where you want to go. It will take spending time with ourselves; some of us with all this technology cannot stand to be alone let alone with ourselves. But try it and see. Being stuck or lost is not all that people credit it to be.

Below are Bible verses to assist in your Journey. So far on my journey my favorite verse has been Joshua 1:9. You must look that one up yourself, it’s so worth it! J Cheers

Habakkuk 2:2

He Lord answered me: Write down this vision; clearly inscribe it on tablets so one may easily read it.

Proverbs 3:5&6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

James 1:8

A double Minded Man is unstable in all his ways.

P.S. I did not get dressed up to write this! 

FB Question: Keeping Your Guard Up

Question from FB:

Why do women keep their guard up for so long and pull away when men start to catch feelings?

Harmuny's World Answer: 

Every case is different. People don't want to take the risk of being hurt. You hear life is pain, but there is a balance to everything. She may have baggage that she doesn't trust you with, so before the guy gets too comfortable she pulls away. We all tend to overlook venerability when it comes down to relationships. Think about it, if the ultimate goal of talking to someone isn't marriage then what are you all doing, wasting time?

A. Keeping the Guard up

When you let someone in your life, a lot happens. Have you heard what you do affects everyone else around you? Rather positive or negative, things change. It is vital that some type of guard is kept up because we don't want a lot of broken people walking around. I don't want to get too deep in section A, but humans are fickle, we all look to fill a void that we think is in someone else. Agree? Breaking that down: we crave to be craved. 

B. Baggage

Over time in each of our lives we have certain things that cling to us or we cling to. A home, parents, vehicle(s) siblings, other family members, a boat, debt, previous relationship(s) that didn't work, memories, childhood, there could be numerous of things people are captured by. We are either running from something or to something at one time or another. Possibly children from a previous something and now you have to find someone who you trust to protect and appreciate them as well as you. When we decide to talk to someone we sign up to help unpack things seen and unseen. We all have baggage. That is why being mature when getting involved with anyone is important. We all are at different stages in life and those who find an equal are blessed.

C. Catching Feelings

I chose to sum up this "catching feelings" as having an attraction, I won't name a specific attraction because as you read this you will apply your own and yes there are a few. The key word here is "feelings". We are emotional and to not get all scientific we end up on an emotional roller coaster when it comes down to relationships. Attraction is a gift; it can be related to confidence which is something that must be worn well. So this catching feeling, I hear is getting to know someone surface based. At the beginning people naturally do the crazy check, Making sure the person is sane first and then what issues they are currently facing, then the attraction may go a little deeper once you get past the associate stage. Liking someone and claiming someone is totally different. THE GAME! It can be annoying the whole thing of be the player or get played. But that is a youthful (as in immature) topic and one I won't cover in this blog.

D. Getting Comfortable

Allowing someone in is like the fight of life, for some. Once on a steady something, whatever people call it these days getting comfortable can be a task or smooth sailing. You meet family, you meet friends, you share secrets, you share struggles, and you still may only be scratching the surface. You look into spirituality or how you plan to build family morals and values play a huge part in getting comfortable. You take advice from each other and you look to each other to have answers the other may or may not have. This is an area to grow together where you also discover who and what you are becoming rather positive or negative. The saying show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are. You are friends in the getting comfortable stage.

E. Trust

I chose to add trust in this topic because it is a make or break in the initial topic of why women run when there is an opportunity to settle. Side note: Men have commitment issues too. Maybe the individual woke up and realized before they got too deep where things were heading and they ran for the nearest exit. If you don't trust someone let it go (my opinion if you all are not married) (Married folk must seek God about their relationship as well as single, but your bond {married folk} is not in a position to walk away you have a lot more at stake). Touchy topic but trust these days is what each individual makes it. The bible says put your trust in God. From my personal experience, I pray, if someone I talk to act up, no worries, tough cookie!!! If I act up, I would hope the same. We all are a work in progress.

I will conclude there! There is a lot more I can cover on this topic

but I will hold off for now, let me know if I answered the question and kept it unbiased. Feel free to comment and share constructive criticism.

I could add a few Bible verses just to help put things into perspective or you can comment and share scripture.

California!!! 101

Keep God First!